Have you ever thought about what did Jesus have mind in Matthew 16:24. If you’ve ever wondered whether denying yourself means skipping dessert, quitting your dream job, or something less Instagrammable altogether, pull up a chair. I’m about to wander through what Jesus was actually asking.
When Saying No to Yourself Feels Impossible
Let’s be honest: the idea of self-denial sounds like a cosmic joke in a world that practically shouts, “You deserve it!” every time you pass a coffee shop or scroll through your phone. I mean, have you ever tried to give up caffeine, sugar, or even just the urge to check your notifications every five minutes? It’s like wrestling a grizzly bear—except the bear is your own desire for comfort, control, and, well, another slice of cake.
But here’s the thing: denial of self in the context of Christian teachings isn’t just about saying no to treats or resisting that extra hour of Netflix. It’s about something much deeper—something that pokes at the very center of who we are and what we want. Jesus’ words in Matthew 16:24 cut right through the noise: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
That’s not just a gentle suggestion. That’s a radical invitation.
The World Says “Treat Yourself”—Jesus Says “Deny Yourself”
Everywhere I look, the message is clear: put yourself first. Buy the shoes. Eat the dessert. Speak ‘your’ truth. The modern world is built on the idea that indulging your desires is not only normal, but necessary for happiness. So when I read Jesus’ call to self-denial, it feels like swimming upstream.
But research shows that this kind of self-denial is actually crucial for spiritual growth. It’s not about missing out or being miserable. It’s about shifting the focus from me to something—or Someone—greater. It’s about recalibrating what (or who) sits at the center of my life. Am I chasing my own comfort, or am I willing to follow Jesus, even when it costs me?
Denial Isn’t Just About Missing Out
Let’s get real: denial of self isn’t just about giving up chocolate or skipping a shopping spree. It’s about letting go of the need to always have my own way. It’s about surrendering control, comfort, and even my carefully curated image. And that’s where things get personal.
Jesus never sugarcoated the cost of following Him. He said, “deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me.” That’s not just about giving up pleasures; it’s about embracing sacrifice. It’s about dying to the self that always wants to be in control. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer famously wrote:
When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
That’s heavy. But it’s also freeing. Because, as Christian teachings emphasize, self-denial isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about finding your true self in Christ. It’s about making space for God to work, to transform, to lead.
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Thank you!
Jeff Hagen
President & Founder
Hill Cities, Inc.
Jeff, thanks for the blog on this important topic. This is one I wrestle with myself regularly. Joseph Stowell’s book Following Christ was a game changer for me. Like your blog it helps me to see that I am not truly following Christ yet. Getting closer, yes, but certainly not where I see I should be. Following Christ is not about acts (for me), but instead about faith. Changing my heart to be less about me and more about Him.